03 April 2008

Conflict of Interest....

Stopped by at SM Marilao late in the afternoon. I needed to buy a car shampoo. I thought it was going to be another boring day, but as I was browsing along the car section of Ace Hardware, I came across "Richard" (not his real name). It's been months since I last saw him. Richard and I used to be "friends with benefits." I met him through a website. He's a year older than me. Tall and handsome. We used to have lots of fun. We play together, enjoy each other's company, and then go our separate ways. Just pure, clean, no-strings-attached fun. It was the perfect setup until one afternoon, after doing what we normally do, he asked me if we could elevate our relationship from mere bed buddies to something more serious. At first I laughed thinking he was joking, but as I looked into his eyes, I realized he wasn't. An uncomfortable air of silence started filling the room we were in as we stared at each other. I told him "Do you even understand what you're asking us to do?" He replied, "Yes" and it was a strong Yes! He is aware of the fact that I'm already in a relationship. My bf is also aware that I have someone I exclusively "play with" during times when he's away and busy, and vice versa.

I said to Richard, "You're charming, handsome, well-educated, you have a good job. You can easily get any man you want. So why settle on being the third wheel in a relationship? All of us will only end up getting hurt." He was quiet afterwards. We both were. We started putting our clothes on. I hugged him. I left his home and went my own way. I didn't want to stay longer because I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I would never ever do anything that would intentionally hurt Rich's feelings or anyone else's. It was a pleasant surprise seeing him today after a long time. I smiled at him when I caught him glancing at me. He approached me. We said our hi's and hello's. As I was about to head towards the cashier, he held my hand, looked directly into my eyes and asked "Why?" I answered, "because it's what's best for all of us." It was difficult walking away. It was the right choice.

17 comments:

JT said...

Hey toyo! you write so well. I like the way you present your short stories, it invibes a good visual in my mind. Really really interesting. :)
jon

Anonymous said...

may ganon? how tragic naman! but i love your story and it was a good decision on your part. moral of the story...i guess you all know that by now!!! hehehe

Michael said...

I personally believe it's a bit unfair to Rich... unless of kors you have agreed beforehand on what kind of relationship you are going to keep... but also, who would not fall for toyo, who's super gwapo/cute and malambing...

bigay mo na lang kaya sa akin si Rich... I'm currently love-less... hehehe

Jerick said...

i'm glad that you're mature enough not to play with others' feelings, toyo. But i could also relate to Rich's feeling of somehow being "fucked and ditched". Kaya dapat tuloy lang ang ligaya! Haha.. No strings attached.Di ka naman mukhang manghahalay sa hagdan sa picture mo, toyo! haha

Anonymous said...

a part of you has grown in me and so you see, it's you and me. together forever and never apart, may be in distance, but never in heart.

Jerick said...

"Anonymous said...
a part of you has grown in me and so you see, it's you and me. together forever and never apart, may be in distance, but never in heart."

parang nawindang ako sa last comment! haha

ShiD said...

aray.. hay..

but then tama naman.. kaso.. yun lang mahirap..

parang feel na feel ko tong post mo na toh..

hehehe.. mejo relating eh.. :p

chase / chubz said...

"play with"?
you mean like playing monopoly or sumthing?
hehehe.

your bf is okai with that kind of setup? i mean. er... im confused. hehe

Toyo said...

thanks for all the comments, guys.
in a relationship, i believe that trust, love, honesty, and respect are more important than physical monogamy. i am emotionally monogamous. my heart and mind only belong to the one i love. but physically speaking, i don't wish to be a hypocrite & say that i don't give in to temptations...because i do give in...but only with my bf's permission of course.
but that's just me. to each his own.
do what you think is what's best for your own relationship.

Jerick said...

Toyo said...
but physically speaking, i don't wish to be a hypocrite & say that i don't give in to temptations...because i do give in...but only with my bf's permission of course.
but that's just me. to each his own.

I believe you toyo.. i've read that there are stages of gay relationships

1. "Let's date"
2. "Let's be more than friends"
3. "Let's explore"
4. "Let's live together"
5. "Let's grow old together"

the Third stage is the stage when you both have other sexual partners other than your significant someone but you have to do this with respect. I think it's healthy. And yes, if a gay person doesn't admit this... I think they're being hypocrites!

:) Hugs

Anonymous said...

does that mean you're not sexually satisfied with your lover?

i don't get it. emotionally monogamous? what is that? you mean you can have sex with anybody you like as long as you still love your bf? if you did it once, i could understand...

oh, well, it's your life anyway. live it the way you want it, rey. i just hope you won't get hurt in the end.

Toyo said...

thanks jerick.

mr/ms anonymous, i am satisfied with my partner or else we wouldn't be celebrating our 2nd year anniversary this month.
like it or not, this is just the way he & i are.
i'm not here to ask others to understand or agree with my way of handling a/my relationship because
that would be too self-righteous of me.

terry said...

I try to resist making any comments regarding anything quite so personal. There's always a risk of offending someone. I guess at the end of the day we all rely on our conscience to guide us. I know you are a kind and thoughtful person Rey. However, I can't help but wonder after you gave Richard the hard word; how Richard may feel if he were to read about it on the World Wide Web.

I guess like any good journal...you always provoke a lot of thought and interesting comments.

Toyo said...

Comments are always welcome in my blog as long as they (comments) aren't malicious in nature.

That isn't actually his real name. I changed it to Richard to protect his identity :-)

terry said...

I thought you'd say something like that, see how thoughtful you are. You always have a good answer Rey that makes me smile.

chase / chubz said...

ahhh okai.
that's good.

Anonymous said...

I am still trying to swallow my own saliva after reading this blog. I was blown away. Indeed, the moral of the lesson is to live and let live. Poor Richard has to learn his lessons the hard way. And I don't blame him. Not at all. I would also fall in love with a guy who keeps me good company. The only difference is, I don't play around. A relationship is built upon trust and respect. It would be unfair to anybody I love for me to have "friends with benefits." Again, this is my point of view. Nonetheless, you made the right decision. Better call it off before it gets too complicated. Better hurt now than hurt later.

To Richard: Call me ASAP. Joke.