17 April 2009


On my way to the farm. Stopped my car to wait for my father's vehicle which was +/- 45 minutes behind me. Took the opportunity to take a photo of the countryside. Yes, I'm still a skinhead. I'll wait 'til the monsoon season. It's the height of summer now and it's too warm to have long hair, in my case at least. Mali pa posing ko sa pic. Dapat magkadikit mga daliri para convincing & umm...photogenic ang katropa niyo. Hahaha! Katropa? Baduy ng term ko no? Sabi ng bf ko kasi magpakamasa naman daw ako. Makamasa naman ako ever since ha. Kumain nga ako sa food court ng Glorietta dati eh with him/bf. Lunch time, sikip sikip pa, walang cute na waiter. Haha! Siya nga ayaw kumain sa Chowking, eh gusto ko pa naman chicharap nila. LOL! Antipatikong Ryan! Nagutom tuloy ako. I'm craving some NYFD fries. Sarap ng garlic dip. Yum Yum! Takaw! ;-)
  Went barhopping a few weeks ago. Haven't done that in almost a year so I was very excited. Things changed once I was already inside one of the bars in Malate. Feelings of excitement turned into something else. I felt a little strange, and out-of-place. For the first time in my life, I felt...old. Even though there was a sea of hot guys inside the bar, even if some were making the eye contact with me, I still didn't feel the urge to get in the zone & cruise. Saw men aimlessly standing in the room, seemingly waiting for something (or should I say someone) to happen...yet nothing did. Witnessed women/fag hags being treated as if they were mere playthings/joke by the studly gay men they were dancing with. Twinks, clueless on the 101's of flirting. Same old scenarios. I told my bf that I felt that I didn't belong there (club/bar scene) anymore. He felt the same way about himself. I was actually thinking more about my dog. I just wanted to go home and take care of my little pug. Maybe my age is finally catching up with me. After all, I'll be 34 this year. Walang-wala na talaga na kalendaryo ang edad ko. To be honest, I'm afraid of getting old...physically speaking. I feel a little insecure. Starting to feel it already. Body isn't as resilient nor dynamic as it was in my 20's. I hope this is just emotional & not physical. Am I really ready to leave the scene, fooling around...playing around or is this merely some sort of midlife crisis? A phase. I just feel jaded and bored. I don't know. "Snap out of it Rey! You're supposed to be carefree & not emotional! Drama isn't your forte." LOL! ;-)

 Liza Minelli - Losing My Mind

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allan540 said...

perhaps this feeling of yours is just a phase, the result of hormonal imbalance or perhaps your just growing up into a better, more mature ( lets also add newly improved, fortified, hehehe parang new packaging ng product) individual. buhos mo nalang kina ryan at enzo ang time para sa extra curricular activities mo. nice pic pla. ang puti mo dun. - allan540

Toyo said...

hormonal imbalance???? was it that "time of month" for me. lol!
malakas lang sinag ng araw kaya pumuti ako. hehe :-)

terry said...

I imagine after reading your journal some people may feel they have a companion to share their same fears and feelings.

that's a beautiful tranquil photo Rey.

Toyo said...

Thanks Terry :-)
It's Earth Day as I'm typing this comment down, so Happy Earth Day to you & to everyone!

greg said...

Hey, Rey... you are sexy as ever! It's good thing that you explored what was out there early... for me, when I realized, it was already too late! So I accepted the fact that I'm already in a dad stage without even experiencing being a twinkee... hahaha! Do not fret, you are always a perfect 10 in my score card!

Forget me not, you No. 6 Fan ~ Greg

Toyo said...

stop teasing me greg. hehehe!
lakas mo mambola ;-)

terry said...

i wish i could have shared the day with you to enjoy the beautiful view.