Recovery

I feel better now. I was sick with fever for almost a week. When I was sick I also had a zit that got infected, add to that a swollen throat, and I injured my gum while brushing. It was hell. There were times I just broke down in tears because I was all alone in my house. I didn't want to ask help from my family because I'm ashamed to ask help from them. I'm already 32, I should be the one taking care of myself whenever I'm sick. My parents aren't that young anymore, and my sisters have their own families to take care of. Fortunately, my bf (Ryan) came over and took care of me. I really needed him to be with me. It's when he arrived that I started feeling better. He cooked food for me and gave me a sponge bath. Nahiya nga ako eh ng pinunasan niya ako kasi mukha na akong losyang. Kadiri! Hehehe! I was able to release all of my frustrations and cry on him when he was here. I'm not used to getting sick. I try my best to be healthy and not get sick because it's during times when I'm ill that I feel the loneliest. I believe that any gay guy living on his own can relate to what I'm saying. Siyempre binibisita naman ako ng pamilya ko pero pagdating ng gabi na ako na lang mag-isa tapos maysakit pa, bato na siguro ako kung di ak mapamukmok.... Love you babe!

My gum still hurts, I'm gonna see a dentist next week. I lost some significant weight. I now weigh 122 lbs. My normal/fit weight is 130 lbs., but I'm just glad I'm ok. At least now, I have an excuse to binge on food. Hehehe! Pero nanghinayang ako kasi in a span of one week, lahat ng pinaghirapan ko sa pag-gigym nawala. May scar pa ako sa face because of that nasty zit na na-infect. Buti na lang magaling ako mag-apply ng concealer. Hahaha! It will take me 2-3 months to get my former body back. My body is the type that has a hard time gaining weight. Wish me luck :-)

PS

That's my recent pic. My hair is getting long. I want to have my hair cut short because long hair takes too much time to style and I often get zits because of the styling gel/clay I put on my hair. My bf likes my hair long & requested me to maintain this kind of hairstyle for the time being. Grrr!!! Gusto ko na magpagupit eh. I hate long hair :-(

Reunion

I attended my 15-year high school reunion last December 27th, 2007. My goodness! 15 years had passed since I graduated from high school. I spent my high school years at SPCB. Yes! Paulinian po ako. I grabbed these photos from my school's Friendster profile. I hope they didn't mind. My high school crush was present during that night. My gosh! He even won something. I was too shy to approach him though. Mukha siyang masungit!!! Baka isnabin niya ako, e di nabroken heart pa tuloy ako diba? :-( Pero he's still single!! Baka may chance pa. Hahaha!

There were only 16 of us from our section who were able to attend. Our batch is composed of 6 sections overall. I hated the fact that we were obligated to wear these shirts/uniforms. The organizers stated that the "uniform" was a way to "equalize" all of us. So, I wasn't able to wear my outfit. Grrr! Di tuloy ako nakaporma :-( Actually nasuot ko naman ang outfit ko, grand entrance nga ako eh. Kasi I was late, lahat sila nakasuot na ng uniform and ako na lang ang hindi. Naka sleeveless pa ako. Hahaha! Pang white party sa Malate ang naging dating ko! LOL! Kaya lang binigay sa akin yung shirt/uniform pagkatapos kong mag register. It was fun! ;-)

Calling

Why is it I feel that there's still something missing in my life. I have a nice home, a loving family, a loving relationship, my own business and yet there's a part of me that at the end of the day,feels a sense of emptiness.

Ironic isn't it? My blog's entitled Toyo's Way, but I don't know in which direction I am to take my life.

I'm afraid that years from now I'm going to wake up one day and realized that I have accomplished nothing meaningful. What is my calling? What is my true purpose in life?

Sometimes I just want to go & live somewhere far away from everyone like in our farm wherein I can be alone and think about things. All the basic necessities I need to live are present in our farm. It's going to be tough if I'm to live there with no maids and without the creature comforts of the home I'm living in now but... I wonder....

Puro pagpapakasaya na lang ginagawa ko. Minsan may nasasaktan na pala ako unintentionally. Ayokong tumanda ng paurong. Siguro nga kailangan kong umalis muna at bumalik na lang kapag nahanap ko na ang mga sagot sa mga tanong ko.

Maybe I need to go away for a while and turn a new leaf...