Now and Then

I wonder if time has been kind to me.

 Have been quite stressed lately, making me feel old. Feeling ko losyang na ako. LOL!

I feel like retiring from "the scene." After all, I am 35.

Pero yung mga interesadong umeksena sa buhay ko eh sila na lang maghanap sa kin. Hehe! :-)

I think there's gonna be another high school reunion but I don't feel like attending it.

Besides, I'm avoiding a certain umm...batchmate/summer fling ;-)

It will be too awkward if I bumped into him.

Baka ibang bumping kasunod na mangyari na naman. Hehe! The bumping might turn into a grinding and a whole lot of pumping. LOL!

Circa  2010

Circa 2007
Taken with my old phone's camera.

Chicago - Will You Still Love Me

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Awww....

My baby boy is sick :-( Enzo has dermatitis.

He has to wear that silly Elizabethan collar until his skin condition is cured. Looks like a satellite dish to me. LOL! Don't let those puppy eyes fool ya. Once you remove his cone, he turns into this very hyperactive pooch ;-) Get well soon baby! Mwah!

On another note. I'm pleased to announce that Ryan has finally quit smoking. He hasn't had a cig for a month now. He got sick (fever) for a week and in that span of time wasn't able to smoke or had the urge to smoke. I told him to take it as an opportunity to quit the nasty habit, which he did. Hellelujah! Haha!

Still on another note (or in tagalog - nota. LOL!), I've been getting emails asking me what my biggest mistake was and how I overcame it, a la Ms. Universe 2010 question. Mga badush talaga, adik sa pageants. LOL! Gay men are so into pageants huh? ;-)

Anyway here's my answer: One of the biggest mistake I had ever made was to let a guy cheat on me not once but twice. I overcame that mistake by kicking him out of my life and then f@#king his fling later on. Problem solved. Thank you ladies and gentlemen and have a wonderful day. LOL! ;-)

Ballads

It's been a while since I've last video blogged. By the way, I was dressed in such a way because I was about to go and attend a formal event.

I didn't put on my suit yet because it's too warm :-) This video blog is about my favorite ballads from the 80s. Did your favorite make it in my list? ;-) In my next blog I'll present one from the 90s and from this decade. So sit back. Relax... And Reminisce...



Love Songs & Ballads 1980-1989 from Toyo on Vimeo.

Singapore

A short video clip of my recent visit to Singapore. Enjoy :-)

Sick?

And the diagnosis is......Toyo's currently suffering from "repression!"

That's right! I'm repressed...from playing around!

Ryan's job is now home-based! That cat is always around. The mouse can't play. The cat doesn't wanna play too bec. he's always tired from work. Huhuhu! Mouse gotta play at least 4-5 days a week ya know? ;-p

I told Ryan that he and I are already in our mid 30's. We only have a small window of opportunity left to enjoy the young ones. LOL! Once we turn 40, it's all downhill. Most gay men say that 40 is 50 in gay years, and the gay scene always puts a premium on youth, which is a sad fact. Oh no! Lagi daw siya pagod because of work, ayaw naman niya ako payagan makipaglaro sa iba. Ano ba yan?! Swapang. Sakim! LOL! Share mo naman ako sa iba Babe. Kailangan ko na magpa change oil. Haha! Share me babe, I have plenty of love for everyone. Dati naman pinapayagan ako, nagmemenopause siguro kaya masungit lagi. Hehehe! I call upon my loyal blog readers....all four of them (Haha!) to stop Ryan from repressing and oppressing me. LOL!

Vacation..

Recently went to Singapore. We weren't able to celebrate our anniversary last April. It's our very much delayed 4th year anniversary gift to ourselves :-)

Welcome to SG!

Outside the resort...

in the tram... natatawa ako kasi dami mabaho kilikili. LOL!

universal studios... 

Haggard & Hung-over

It's the day after the Pride events and this is the aftermath. LOL!

I told ya you wouldn't like me in the morning.

I only used my Iphone's crappy camera so that I wouldn't appear too haggard in the pic. Less pixels = less ugliness. Haha!

I noticed that I didn't even position myself properly on my bed when I woke up ;-)

Had a fun time in Malate during the Pride parties even if I got drunk too early.

I wasn't even able to take photos. Bummer! :-(

I wasn't intoxicated, it was just that the drink Ryan gave me was a little strong

making my head ache, and I had trouble walking too. Oh no! Hehe!

I met a cute guy named Jae. We started out as chatmates in Grindr and since he was in the area that time, we decided to meet. It was a brief meeting which means no briefs were tossed out. LOL!

He's cute but he was a bit conscious and quiet. He later called me up saying he was tensed. Natorpe daw siya, gusto daw niya bumawi next time. Sabi ko nabitin ako, gusto sana kitang iuwi. Haha!

"Talk the talk, walk the walk" I replied jokingly. Oh well, if only he played his cards right he would have ummm...Hehehe!

Toyo's word of advice; Be a little aggressive if you wish Toyo to umm..."reciprocate" LOL!

HAPPY GAY PRIDE! :-)

PS

Sleeping with your glasses on is one of the easiest ways to break it.

Trust me on this. Take it off before getting some Zzzzzz :-)

Bet!

Ryan wearing the shades of shame! LOL!

Earlier this year (February) I challenged him to start exercising again and quit smoking.

Since then I haven't seen him use my gym nor lessen the number of cigs he consumes in a day.

I asked him if he'll ever try to get back in shape and quit smoking. He couldn't give me a straight answer.

I accepted the fact that he couldn't and wouldn't do it. I was the one who quit the dare. Sabi ko sa kanya, bahala siya pag nagkasakit siya. Reklamo ng reklamo pag may masakit sa katawan niya, pero ayaw naman niya alagaan body niya. Sabunutan ko yan eh...sa kili kili. Hahaha! :-) Kakabwisit talaga, binibigyan tuloy ako ng wrinkles. LOL! I told him that if he got sick bec. of his unhealthy lifestyle, I don't want to hear any whining from him for he probably brought it on himself. He can whine on the handsome nurse that I'll hire to take care of him. Hahaha! The handsome hunky nurse is also obligated to ummm...."nurse" me too....while Ryan's asleep. LOL! Hehehe!

Kunsabagay, may mga nameet na akong nurses sa PRomeo, maraming selection and prospects. Haha! Babush for now! LOL! ;-)

Election!

It's the presidential elections once again. If only there's a candidate that has; Gilbert's handsome looks and outstanding academic & professional background. Manny's business savviness. Noynoy's mass appeal. Dick's iron will & political experience. Erap's charm. and last but not the least,Jamby's balls! She's the gutsiest of them all ;-) Oh well...I'll just vote for the cutest. LOL!

The Presidentiables 2010. Eenie Meenie Miney Mo! Time for you to go and vote :-)

Good Night :-)

"Lonely is the night...

when I'm not with you..."

Oh nothing. Just a little bored in the province.

No one to have fun with.

Can't seem to find the perfect and exclusive umm...never mind. Hehehe.

Care to read me a bedtime story? :-)

This pic was actually taken earlier this year. It's not as if I take pics of myself everytime you know? That would be weird of me to do :-)

That's Ryan's side of the bedroom. We sleep in separate beds because umm...he snores. Hehehe!

He's currently away. Work stuff.

I wish someone would drive by and take me out tonight... Sigh!

Electric Light Orchestra - Midnight Blue .mp3

Found at bee mp3 search engine

Random Thoughts....

Lazy weekend. Got nothing much to talk about. So, I thought I'll just share some words and beliefs I live by which I've learned through my personal experiences...

------

Appreciate the things you have, and you will never feel deprived.

I'd rather have lack of sleep than sleep forever.

I'd rather be alone than be with someone who makes me feel as if I'm still alone.

Monogamy is overrated. Love, trust and respect are more important.

Where you are right now is based on the decisions you made in the past. You either congratulate or blame yourself.

It's unhealthy to dwell too much in the past. Snap out of it and move on.

A life of constantly seeking other people's approval is a life less lived.

Love is sometimes not enough to make anyone change. Change is a personal decision.

If your man says he doesn't want to talk, it means you shut your pie hole and stop nagging him.

Less talk, less mistakes. Dignity in silence.

Show me who your FaceBook buddies are and I'll tell you if you're gay.

The closet is a confined limited world. Get out of it.

Slaves to fashion are no different from lemmings. They all look the same. Same style. Same clothes. Same haircut. Unoriginal.

A great kisser is a blessing. A kiss-and-tell is a menace. Namedropping is tacky & uncool.

Bisexuality is merely a stopover on the way to gayville.

Casual sex is not a sin, unsafe sex is.

Homosexuality IS MY favorite sin. LOL!

Diets don't work, exercise & proper eating habits do.

Wanna lose weight? Get a boyfriend. Wanna gain weight? Get a husband. Wanna stay fit? Get a fling! Hehehe! :-)

Aim

Been serious with my workouts and diet. Well, I'm not really dieting. Diets don't work. I'm just more mindful of the things I eat because I want to get rid of my love handles and I'm happy that at least they've gotten smaller now. Hehehe! I've underestimated my metabolism I guess. I always lose track of the fact that I'm already in my mid 30s. My metabolism isn't as fast as it was during my 20s in which I can eat anything I wanted to without worrying about getting a belly :-)

Whether I get to realize my dream of having washboard abs will only be a bonus. Getting ripped abs is very difficult, I have to be realistic. I just want my tummy to be at least tight again as it was 3-4 years ago so that it won't fold and bulge out especially while I'm sitting. LOL! As for the rest of the photo...well...the uncropped version is in some social networking site that I'm a member of. Hehehe! Such a naughty bloke huh? Anyway, just because one can see doesn't necessarily mean that one can easily touch ;-)

 

Bodyrock - Moby

Long Time! No See!

Just wanted to say "Hi!"

This video was done almost a month ago. It's only now that I was able to edit and place subtitles in it.

Random rants. Zits, high school crush, etc. ;-)

Just Friends?

I'm not been well last week. Been feeling sick.

But now that I'm feeling a little better and my appetite's starting to normalize, I asked Ryan to take me out for some delicious steak. Yum Yum! :-)

Went to Trinoma Mall and decided to spend lunch at Holy Cow Chop House.
As usual, while we're waiting for our food to arrive Ryan took a photo of me. He forced me to sit on that cow by the way. Grrrrrr!!! Yeah, I think I need to get my haircut. LOL! I felt guilty because of that bovine sofa/statue that I decided to not have steak anymore. I ordered this instead ;-) iPhone's cam isn't the best.
In other news, I've ended "things" with the high school batchmate. He's beginning to expect more from me. I don't wish to give him false hopes. Of course, my partner reprimanded me again. Huhuhu! "Better be clear from the start with your intentions with other men as to avoid complicating things" Ryan said. Wala naman akong intention na masama. Honest naman ako sa tao na iyon sa simula pa lang. Mali ko lang siguro is kapag gusto ko kasi ang isang tao, malambing ako masyado. Sigh! He texted me and said that he still wants to be friends with me. I told him that that would be nice but I can't see him at the moment. I am physically attracted to him and we might end up having sex again. Real friends don't fuck each other. I like him. Cute niya eh. Malambing din. Weakness ko malambing at magaling mag-alaga. Kainis! Hehehe! Why did it have to become complicated? Why couldn't he just treat me as a mere sex object? Hahaha! LOL! Kidding! I really like the guy. I wish him well.

Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone .mp3

Found at bee mp3 search engine

Forbidden Fruit...

Bumped into a high school batchmate of mine recently while buying some stuff at a bookstore. He probably thought that I was bored while I was in line at the counter paying, so he approached me and whispered "Smile naman diyan" ("Spare a smile?"). Nagulat naman ako, I mean sino 'tong cute na ito, sabi ko sa sarili ko. LOL! I was surprised because I didn't recognize him at first until he formally introduced himself as a batchmate of mine during high school. He is so cute! He's taller than me. Average to semi-muscular. At least di masyado malaki tiyan. Nice smile. Nice butt. ;-)

After I finished paying, we decided to hang out for a while. My "defenses" were still up, trying to gauge whether the guy is gay or straight. After some chitchats and some food (nilibre niya ako ng chicharon and umm...vitwater. you know? try one now. lol), and exchanging of phone numbers we went our separate ways. I was bummed because I didn't get a text message from him the following day nor the day after that so I assumed that he's probably straight and was just being friendly with me until the 3rd day after our meeting, I received a very interesting sms from him.

The text message said "I like you. Care to go out?" Aaaayyyy!!!! Bigla naman humaba ang bangs ko! Hahaha! Feeling ko kasi ang pangit pangit ko. Medyo pumayat ako eh. Balik ang confidence! LOL!

I felt so darn good reading that message. I felt showered with so much love and umm...desire. Desire???!!! What the??!! Hahaha!

Since I'm already too old to play hard-to-get, I replied that I like him too. Uuuyyy!!! LOL!

34 na ako ayoko na masyado magpademure effect no! ;-)

We met at a local Starbucks. We talked quite a bit although deep inside I was asking myself, when is this guy gonna make a move? He's taking too long! Hehehe! Ang bagal! ;-)

I was starting to get bored and he seemed tense (he was already starting to babble) so I asked him if he wanted us to be in some place where we could have a little privacy. He smirked and said "Yes."

Yup something happened and it was GREAT! He was like a savage animal. Woof! Woof! LOL! Licking my body all over, which is just what I like. We're both tops, so we didn't go all-the-way. Going all-the-way is too much work anyway. LOL! He said that it was his first time with a man. I answered "late bloomer?" He pinched me and laughed. Did you enjoy your ummm...."first time?" I asked. He requested for a second round. Hahaha!

But like all good things, this one will probably not last. Before we parted ways, he confessed that he's already married (to a woman) and that for me is a dealbreaker.

Yeah, I'm also in a relationship, but at least my partner knows my "extra curricular activities." Ryan and I both do. ;-)

Got a text message from him just a few hours ago. He wanted to "meet."

I replied "you are married!"

"I like you, I'm comfortable with you, I don't know, I may even love you. What she doesn't know won't hurt her. I just want to be with you." He texted back.

What she doesn't know won't hurt her? My ex used to tell me that. I'm not going to repeat a past mistake. I still care for my ex though. He's still a friend. Hello Amboy/ex if you're reading this. Hehehe!

Anyway, I'm confused. I really like the guy. He also told me that he doesn't care if he'll play second to Ryan, he only wants me to give him a chance. I asked myself if this guy's for real or if he's just playing me? I like him. He seems genuine but my defenses are up.

This is the first time that my belief system's been challenged.

Bakit kasi masarap ang bawal? Matext back nga siya. LOL! Haha!

Donna Summer - I Feel Love .mp3

Found at bee mp3 search engine

Weeding Out

I recently weeded out some contacts from my FaceBook account. Members who requested to be connected to me but didn't even bother trying to get to know me throughout the whole time that they've been a part of my list of "friends" in FaceBook. Some of them I haven't even met in real life. I was just concerned that I might offend them if I didn't approve their "invitation" to be my FaceBook buddies which is why I added them in my list of friends. Anyway, I deleted them and I'm going to delete more. I'd rather have a few connections than a thousand. I mean, who has a thousand +++ friends in the first place? A cyberslut?! LOL! I'd understand if you're a celebrity, a fan page or an organization, but if you're not then... How can one nurture a thousand friendships? Baffling! LOL!

I also organized contacts in my phones. I deleted contacts who do not even bother replying if I sent them text messages, especially if it's a specific text message. Don't you just hate it when people do that to you? I mean, ignoring your text messages. I have 3 phone numbers. Contacts in the cheapest phone are for new acquaintances and umm..flirting. LOL! I rarely use my cheapest phone. Contacts in my Nokia Communicator are people that I've been communicating for some time now and are thinking of meeting or possibly becoming friends with in real life, it's also a business phone. Contacts in my IPhone are family & friends. I recently demoted (demoted? as in! LOL!) one contact in my IPhone and transferred it in my cheapest phone. I texted him yesterday but he didn't reply. It's a shame, I was about to ask him to meet me since we both live in the same town. Wanted him to spend a Sunday afternoon here in my house since I was so bored and all alone. It means I will not contact him anymore since his number is deleted from my IPhone. I hate mind games. He's not worth it.

Beyonce - Irreplaceable .mp3

Found at bee mp3 search engine

Encounter

The end of another long day. Just here on my terrace, trying to cool down. Yeah, my garden needs more work. Weather seems to be getting hotter & hotter as each day passes by. Summer has finally set in.
Met a guy I've been corresponding with for a long time a few days ago, with Ryan's permission of course. I do not kiss-and-tell and I respect the person's privacy so I'm not going to elaborate any further nor give any hints regarding the guy's background. As far as hot encounters are concerned, I give the guy an A rating! After all, the guy knows how to lick. Whew! He licked me all over. Hehehe! He wanted me to be his top but I do not go all-the-way during a first meeting. Maybe in the future. Whether I see him again or not depends on my man's permission. The guy and I still text each other. He's a very nice and kind young man. Now, who's next? LOL! Kidding! Well...meron isa pero masyado pa hard-to-get eh kaya sabi ko sa sarili ko wa'g na lang ;-) Oh well, time for me to hit the shower, the warm weather's making me feel lazy/lethargic. 'Til next time :-)

PS

Important lesson learned recently; "Never allow anyone to define how you feel about yourself."

Someone I thought was a friend judged me harshly. Anyway he's not a friend anymore, is out of my life and deleted from my Facebook. LOL! ;-)

Thanks for the comments and emails of support. Your emails made me not delete my blog.

Robbie Williams - Lazy Days .mp3

Found at bee mp3 search engine

Dare!

Yours truly is issuing a challenge to a certain someone, that if the aforementioned individual completely stops smoking, loses his gut, and becomes fit & muscular once again then I will..........propose to him and marry him in an island beach resort of his choice.

The guy has 6 months to accomplish the task. You know who you are.

By the way, no lipo nor any medical procedures, and diet pills aren't allowed. Hehe!

I am not the marrying kind so we'll see who wins this dare 6 months from now. If he loses then as Tyra Banks would say in ANTM, "Time for you to immediately pack your belongings and leave the mansion." Better shape up or get shipped out! LOL! I have to get serious working out too, my bod isn't as fit as it used to be ;-)

Sixpence None The Richer - Breathe Your Name .mp3

Found at bee mp3 search engine

Recap

Just a Recap of some of my YouTube videos.

I'm itching to make a new one.

Online

This guy's in love with you pare. LOL!

I've been a member of a gay social networking site (Guys4Men now named as Gayromeo) since late 2005. I've noticed that whenever I replace my main profile pic to a "wholesome" one like the one below, few members of the site bothered contacting or checking my profile instead of when I have a shirtless photo as my main profile pic. Sex really sells huh? ;-)

Speaking of profiles, there seems to be a lot of them in that social networking site that are either tacky or just plain idiotic. Idiotic in the way that they publish their statements and tacky in the way that they present their photos. I.E. Most are profile shots. You know? A photo wherein it's only one side of the face of the subject that's being shown, Filipinos in particular are prone to doing this, posting profile shots. Nakaside view lagi. Can't they look directly in front of the camera? What are they trying to hide?

Some are naked photos with the subject smiling at the camera. If you want your photo to be seductive and be taken seriously then you shouldn't smile while holding your dick in your pictures. LOL! There are also male pageant photos with matching sash, crown and scepter and trophy and ummm....what else umm...gift certificates. Hehe! It'll be impressive if it's a major or national male pageant or a fitness competition, but if it's just a local pageant set in a cheap, forsaken strip club, then it's nothing to brag about. There are photos that weren't even cropped before they were uploaded, and some photos are so small you'll need a magnifying glass to view them.

Then there are the narratives and profile statements, my gosh! Have any of you read some of them? Statements like; "I'm not here for sex." Yet they have shirtless pics that leave little to the imagination. Either the guy has no dinero to buy clothes or he's just a douchebag trying to show off his body. I think it's the latter. Hypocrisy. "No chubs! No effems! No oldies! No uglies! Blah! Blah! Blah!" Who the hell do they think they are, a casting director? Heaven's gift to gaydom? So conceited. Such arrogance. Then there's the "I love him I have found my one true love. Yadi yadi yada!" statements. If he has found his one true love then why the hell is he still in that site. Nobody cares about that in a social/matchmaking site. What does he want to do, make single people envy him and feel sorry for themselves for not having a partner? "No facepic! No reply!" and yet they do not have any face pics of themselves in their profiles. Geesh! It's so ridiculous. Nakakabobo no? But the most annoying members I often encounter, are the ones who ask me questions that could've already been answered if only they had bothered reading my profile. Questions like the freaking "NASL?" NASL stands for Name or Nationality, Age, Sex or Status, Location. Do they really have to ask what my sex is? I have shirtless photos with my bulge showing, aren't those enough proof? Are they in doubt that it might not be my balls and cock bulging inside my undies but a giant clit instead? Hahaha! Why is the quality of members in G4M deteriorating when it comes to character and personality, Pinoy members in particular? Now I'm beginning to realize why members from other countries do not wish to associate with Filipinos in cyberspace.

I used to love G4M. I especially used to enjoy browsing the forums.

Oh the hassles of the online world. Anyway this is just my opinion. To each their own. Kanya kanyang diskarte sa internet. The important thing is to be yourself. Pretending to be someone you're not isn't going to serve you well once you and the person you're corresponding with finally decided to meet in real life.

PS

By the way...if you're gonna upload a photo & you're aiming for a "manly" look, be mindful of the things in your background. I've seen photos wherein the subject was so serious in trying to look butch but I was taken aback because of the beanie babies and stuffed toys in his pics' background, or bec. of the floral patterns of his bed sheets, pillow cases and umm..blanket. Hehe! Be careful shooting photos in hotel rooms too, if not executed properly others might think you're a moneyboy. LOL!

 

 
Lifeline - Spandau Ballet