Infatuation 2006

I used to have 10 top crushes. I narrowed them down to five. E.C. (not a celebrity) is still my numero uno crush. Unfortunately E.C. is straight & married :-( Sana may twin siya. Haha! Rick Yune is 2nd place. Ricky is 3rd. Tommy Page (my crush since my teen years) is 4th. Nate is 5th. He's last on the list because he doesn't look like a bad boy nor can he sing. Nevertheless, he's still hot hot hot! He's always welcome to decorate my home anytime. He can even sleep over. Yeah right...keep on dreaming Toyo :-) FYI I'm not a bad boy. I might seem loko loko but I'm not. Hindi po talaga. Maniwala kayo. Kasi tinutukso ako ng isang "boi" na bad boy daw ako :-( Ayaw niyang maniwala na I'm an "innocent" (oops! biglang kumulog hehe) and semi-demure probinsyano. Semi lang kasi may pictures ako dito na shirtless. Haha!

PS

I saw my high school crush (not E.C.) yesterday.

Ang laki na ng tiyan niya tapos may receding hairline pa :-(

No Worries

Self-expression. My friend was hanging around in my house (my humble gym/storage room to be exact) some weeks ago and he shot some clips of me working out which he turned into this video as a gift for my blog's 1 year anniversary :-) The video is kinda dark because it was shot at night time.

direct video link http://youtube.com/watch?v=6YdwXjCgdNY

Life Goes On

I realized that it's about time that I finally moved on with my life. It would be emotionally & physically unhealthy for me to continue dwelling in the past. I recently placed an ad at a matchmaking site. I hope I'll be able to make good friends if someone answered it :-) This is one of the photos I placed in my profile. Most of the men there have photos that are shirtless so...I decided to jump on the bandwagon too. Hehe! Some of them have great fit bodies with washboard abs and chiseled chests. Kinda makes me feel a little insecure. Noticed that my blog's avatar is also shirtless nowadays? Ummm...it's because it's summer here. Mainit! It's too freaking hot. It's soo hot here in my country that this is actually what I "wear" (or not wear) going to the office, to the mall, and to the church....the church of disco. Just kidding! :-)

Decisions! Decisions!

A vid i made around november 2005. It was only now that i was able to edit it. In the video, I was having difficulties picking the clothes to a certain place I want to "come" Hehe! ;-) I hope my friends will not get upset at me anymore for not sending them video emails for quite some time :-) Click the play button to view the vid. The direct link is for full/larger mode.

direct video link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHWfZsgeJdA

Toyo Was A Catholic Schoolboy??!! :-)

I found my old high school photo while organizing my boxes of clutter. This pic brings back memories. This is a very strict Catholic school. You're not allowed to enter school premises without wearing the proper uniform and I.D. Anyway, I love wearing any type of uniform (i.e. baseball uniform, army uniform, sailor uniform, hehe!) so no problem with me. I remember the school holding first Friday masses every first Friday of the month. Sometimes my best buddy and I would pretend that we weren't feeling well so that our teachers would excuse us from attending the mass & then send us to the school clinic. The school clinic happens to be located right next to the school cafeteria. Yummy! Haha! I also remember my adviser & teacher giving a me failing grade of 70 (an F) in Homeroom class because I wasn't able to bring flowers during the Celebration of The Holy Rosary or something :-( Regardless, I hope she's still in good health and doing well. Now my web visitors will believe me that I was once a Catholic school boi :-) I have some cute classmates huh? Click the pic to enlarge it.

High School: Sophomore Year 1989-1990

Anniversaries & Coming Outs

My blog is a year old! It’s amazing how time flies. I hope people who stumble upon my web and journal are able to learn something from the entries I post here though some of them can be only trivial stuff. I’ve started blogging to find out how ready I was to finally “come out” to the public. Although it was almost 3 years ago on June 21st 2003 that I first officially came out to one of my sisters. I was sick and tired of hiding inside the closet. I realized that if my family really loves me, they would accept me for who I really am. The closet can be a sad, limited, and lonely place to be in. Human beings are designed to be a lot of things…loneliness isn’t one of them. I didn’t want to be alone in the closet anymore. So I came out. I really didn't care about what other people would say or think. My family was & is my only concern. I first told all about it to my youngest sis (I told other family members months later). It was actually funny when it (coming out) happened.

My youngest sister didn’t really make a big deal out of it. She just gave me a kiss and a hug and told me that she’s happy for me as long as I’m happy with my life. She also told me that I should stop crying during that time because I look ugly/weird whenever I cry. She even grabbed her camera phone and took a pic of me crying to prove that I look ugly whenever I cry....and she was right! :-( Hehe! She did reprimand me because it was around 3 in the morning when I told her all about it which made me ruin her beauty sleep. Her college graduation was going to take place on that same day and she wanted to look fresh & pretty in her graduation photos. Arte talaga non! Haha! Another reason, I came out that time was because I got into a serious relationship with a very special guy (A.P.) and I wanted to introduce him to my sister. I was proud to have him as my boyfriend. Although, things between him & I didn’t turn out the way I wished it would, I hope that I was able to make him happy during the 2 years and 7 months of our relationship. All I did and ever wanted to do was to love him & be a good boyfriend to him. Time flies by so quickly. I wonder what the future holds for me and the people in my life. My little sister, my confidant.

Broke & Bare

A few weeks ago I asked a friend of mine to find me a copy of the movie Brokeback Mountain but what he gave me was a porno flick Bareback Mountain instead....which was MUCH MORE satisfying to watch. Brokeback Mountain is a little depressing, I'm talking about the film's ending. I don't know why mainstream/legitimate gay movies I've gotten to watch (Brokeback, etc.) always seems to have sad endings. One of the lovers always die :-(

Anyway, Bareback Mountain is also a "touching" story (and there were lots of touching and more...hehe!) of two gay cowboys (Keith & Jack) who have to "bareback" across America in order to become the next American Porn Idols. But as our protagonists travel & bareback across the country, they'll eventually have to meet the "Big Two" rodeo kings (hunky Paulo and Brandy) whom they have to "outwit, outlast, & outbareback" along designated pit stops inorder to retrieve from them the immunity idols which they need to defeat their final nemesis...American Porn Idol judge - Simone. Simone is one sexy fag hag with diabolical plans to turn all gay men into heteros. That evil bitch!! Will Keith and Jack overcome their trials and become the next American Porn Idols? Well...I'm not gonna spoil the ending for you but the last scene of Keith and Jack on top of Bareback Mountain together with their cowboy pals makes me wanna go to our farm and become a cowboy (or is it cowboi?) too. Bottom line, (pun intended) Bareback Mountain should have at least gotten an Oscar nomination for best "milking" :-)

Brokeback Mountain VS Bareback Mountain

Love

It's February again. It's the month of love so here's a list of some of the things I just love:

I love it whenever I see my crush.

I love it whenever I buy clothes that fit me just fine.

I love it whenever I get to eat my favorite foods.

I love it whenever the plane I'm in touches the ground bec. it means I won't be getting airsick anymore.

I love it whenever I'm on the beach, the skies are clear, the waters are calm, and there are few people around.

I love it whenever I see cute lovers holding hands.

I love it whenever traffic's not heavy.

I love it whenever I meet interesting people.

I love it whenever I realize that I made the right decision.

I love it whenever I get to put a smile on other people's faces and then laugh with them.

I love it whenever I think about the people who love me.

I love it whenever I'm in-love. :-)

I love it knowing that love is free.

PS

I've updated my music page. The new theme is The 80s.

Video Blog

Since I'm quite "busy" to make individual video emails for my friends, I thought of posting my video messages in my blog. Actually, medyo tamad lang ako gumawa ng video emails. Hehe! I've placed english subtitles for viewers who can't understand filipino/tagalog. Click the direct video link under the screen to view the video in full size.

the direct video link is: http://www.youtube.com/?v=FFvrJNLhVWI

My Video Diary

My very first video blog. Click the play button to watch it. :-)

video link: http://www.youtube.com/?v=dkHIdcP21jE

Happy New Year!

My friends keep asking me "whatever happened to your work-outs?" Well, I stopped for a month or so because the cold climate made me lazy. I took a webcam photo of myself "flexing" and I realized that I now have a.....CHEST! My hard work actually paid off??? Hehe. I'm already happy with the outcome. If it gets any bigger, that will be a great bonus. Now, I need to work on my stomach. HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR! :-)

results

PS

I updated my music page in my main website. Disco and upbeat music are the themes this time around.

Farewell 2005

It's the last week of 2005. I can't believe I was able to blog this long. 2005 was a very emotionally exhausting year for me. I hope that 2006 will be a more pleasant one. In spite of the rough roads I've been through, I'm always thankful to God for all the blessings He has given me. Life is a constant journey, and the important thing to remember is to keep walking & discovering the paths you travel on with its ups and downs. Now I leave you with a music video from one of my favorite musical artists, The Corrs with the song "Toss The Feathers." I hope The Corrs would come back again to Manila for a concert. I have a big crush on Jim Corr - the lead guitarist & keyboardist. Peace :-)

The Corrs: Toss The Feathers

Mano & Drew

The photo below is of Andrew (left) and Manolo (right). They are a "married"/domestic couple/partners living in California. They used to live in Florida. They are proof that same sex relationships do work and can stand the tests of time. Their relationship serves as one of my inspirations and I look up to them. 

cute couple

Christmas Tree 2005

I already placed my Christmas tree in my living room. I think I need more balls in different sizes to hang in my tree. Balls...Haha! In the Philippines, we use plastic trees, unlike in the U.S. or Europe wherein some people still prefer to use real trees. I still have to buy a Christmas lantern or as we call it here, a "parol" to hang in my terrace.

My fondest memory of Christmas took place when I was around 6 or 7 yrs. old. It was Christmas & I was upset because I forgot to hang a Christmas stocking/sock for Santa to place his gift in. My nanay/mother told me "magsabit ka ng stocking baka bumalik si Santa/why don't you hang a stocking, Santa might return for you." I did what my nanay told me and the following day I found a plastic toy box which contains lots of candies and chocolates inside it. That memory always makes me smile. My nanay is really sweet. I love her very much even if she nags me a lot :-)

Games

I was only 13 years old when I saved enough money to purchase my very first video game console (An 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment Sytem) in 1988. My goodness! That was a long time ago :-) Ever since then, I've been hooked on playing video games. I own a lot of game consoles (Mega Drive, Super NES, Game Gear, Dreamcast, Playstation 1 & 2). Below is a list of my favorite video games. I can't wait to get a copy of Resident Evil 4 when it comes out this month.

On another note, I've stopped working-out for awhile. I've been losing too much weight lately. I'm failing at the one thing I was so passionate about. Stress, insomnia, & "issues" don't help either. The moral of the story: Life is filled with disappointments. :-)

game fanatic

Food Binge

I went to the mall this afternoon because I wanted to buy a staple gun...I ended up buying clothes....again!!! :-( I couldn't help it. There was a sale. But from now on I will not shop for clothes until the year ends. I'm all alone here. Nothing to do tonight, so I raided the fridge. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I even eat when I'm afraid. Hehe! Just kidding. I just love eating. Once upon a time I even tried eating "balut" (boiled duck's egg with duck embryo in it) and "dorian" (a tropical fruit that smells like crap). I will not try to eat these foods again but at least I once did. The taste was ok but the smell was really unpleasant. I get irritated at people who are overly conscious or "maarte" with their diet, unless they have allergies. It makes me wonder how hungry they are to experience life. Anyway, my metabolism is fast & I do serious exercises every other day so it doesn't worry me that I eat a lot.

For my midnight snack, I ate a plate of baked macaroni, 6 chicken nuggets, a garlic bread, 1 deep-fried spring roll, and a slice of cantaloupe. I washed it all down with a tall glass of soya milk. I'm still hungry though :-( I'll eat some beef wanton noodles & tuna subway sandwich after I finished publishing this. Then it's off to bed. Takaw ko talaga. I'm so bored I took pictures of my own night snack. Hehe! :-)

Birthday Blues

It has been a long time since I last made a post here. It has been two days since my 30th birthday. I now belong in the "mature" category. I was not in the best mood to celebrate it last Sunday because of personal reasons.

feeling blue

Rain

"Kapag umuulan bumubuhos ang langit sa iyong mga mata."

It's been raining a lot these days. The weather is much cooler now because of the rain though.

Rain In Sunset by Picci Anchise

Cyber Bachelors

I have gotten in-touch with a lot of people from all corners of the world through my website. I've known Aaron for more than a year. We even exchanged gifts last Christmas. He & I have good conversations. Olivier is an Algebra professor in Le Raincy. He's very fun to chat with.

I once attempted to match Aaron & Olivier, but I failed. :-( My matchmaking skills aren't very good I think. Terry is a typical Englishman. He's in the construction business. He sends me the warmest & most pleasant emails. I don't understand some of his British humor though. :-) These 3 men are very nice, "single" and eligible bachelors. I'll feature more cyber bachelors in the future.

Happy

I am happy/masaya ako today kasi I finished all the papers needed to be processed for my own business. I am now a boss :-)

happy dawg